Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
