now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
