my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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