You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
