check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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