Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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