escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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