Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
