went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
