Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
