so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Congratulations! We have a period
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