This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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