that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
