I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize