He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
