i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
