On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
