By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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