I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
