It's like God shit irony all over that family
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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