There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
