how can u be prego again
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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