okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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