Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
