wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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