He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
