omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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