suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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