with your own penis?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
