We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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