is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
