is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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