Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
