So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize