In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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