We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
