I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
