I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
