I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
