I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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