Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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