I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize