Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
