In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my liver is dry heaving
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
