if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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