I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's the barista slut.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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