I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
