Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We are two peas in an std pod
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
