After last night, I could never be a politician.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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