Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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