I wannas sexs uuuuu
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize