why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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