Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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