WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
