apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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