Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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