sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize