Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize