I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
