Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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