I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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