Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
