Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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