I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize