chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
