Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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