very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize