Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
